Day 0:(re)START

originally written on 2012 April 21 Saturday

Here I am as i walk through and as this process.
today i finished the ITD lesson 3 and while sounding the self-forgiveness application i became the realization of me.

here i see and realise as i as memories/pictures/experiances flow through and as me that these are all that i have defined myself through and as from fear and reacting to this fear with self-deception and becoming one with and as deception/lies itself.
tons of shit all over.
yet just like the scarabeus can do, which is one and equal as me, i can and am clean this shit and actually create what is "useful" in terms of creating what is best for all beings.
before it seemed overwhelming, even frightening, yet here it is just a pile of shit that needs to be cleaned by me and noone else...and the longer i wait the more will pile up and the stinkier it gets...eventually literally killing me as the physical.
so i am here dedicating myself as who i am to no more allow and accept any separation, limitation, definition within and as myself and stand up, walk through this process of "clensing" myself as what i am and have become as my own self-accepted and allowed nature as a human being here.
day by day, point by point, construct by construct, i walk and clear this because this is what is best for all as one and equal to/as myself. i am taking the test of time and energy and put myself into/as in the self application, self-forgiveness, self-honesty, self-realisation and nothing, not even me as anything is able to stop me from walking this.
i had doubts, fears, future-projections, worries, uncertainities, all that which are self-deceptive and actually do not exist here.
i do have a physical "life"-in the meaning of having accepted upon certain dayly activities that i engage within a day-that i also walk and wherewer, whenever i discover a self-dishonesty i either work on the point here in the moment, stopping forgiving applying or create a reminder to walk through the point later in the day.
i am writing this blog dayly from now on, as to conclude the point which i discovered during my day and together with the self-forgiveness application under it and also copied into the correlating page here on the blog, in order for those who in shearch of support can just simply see a list of SF statements in their correlating point-placement-definitions to not have to read all the others and be able to provide specific self support.
this is not for anyone. i write within and as myself as who i am and what i have accepted and allowed mysel to be and how i walk to expand myself and free myself from my own self-created chains of limitation of who i am as life as all as one and equal.