2012-06-27

Day 15: Giving part 2

2012-05-13

And there was this belief based on the preception-but mostly want-that i am ethernal and so i saw within myself that when i give i can give it ethernally too...

yet while doing this i also existed as the construct of greed and property where the items/people i connected/linked myself were MINE (the thing that undermines relationships) and so i did not want to "share" them based on the fear of other wrecking my stuff. so i defended what's mine -aslo talking about my point of view and oppinions and judgements ect.-yet i given ethernally free so here existed a huge huge polarity/contradiction within and as myself. "preach water and drink vine". so i did not realise that i was continuosly spiting myself and telling myself that "it's okay" to do so. and so i created many personalities and perfected the skills to pretend -starting from childhood- and lived out fully without even considering what this does to me OR everyone else. also i mainly thought i existed in a objective point of view yet failed to realize that what i do is the very reason why humanity as a whole is the way we are.

self forgiveness:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think "this point is too big, i do not know where to start self-forgiveness".
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself the thought "this point is too big, i do not know where to start self-forgiveness" to exist within and as me.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from the thought "this point is too big, i do not know where to start self-forgiveness" and from the action of thinking.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from my parents and from their problems within and as themselves instead of understanding and realizeing that i cannot help or change them and they can only help/change themselves.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/desire to stop my parents fighting with each other and themselves believing that when i am in an enviroment of hate and friction i will become that.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being one and equal to and as hate and friction.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from hate and friction.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the point of my parents fighting with each other to myself and believe that i am the reason/cause they are fighting instead of realizing that they only express what they are accepted and allowed themselves to be and become and it has nothing to do with me or my participation while being an innocent child.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the thought "if i give to another i will thrive" to exist within and as me
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think "i i give to another i will thrive".
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from the thought "if i give to another i will thrive"
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to beleive that my condition of survival depends on my actions towards others and that if i give to another i will recieve the same thing.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite other as well as spite myself and give only when certain conditions are met instead of realizing that giving is only best for all if done unconditionally and that giving unconditionally is not a choice but an expression of life within and as equality and oneness.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and exist as selfishness regarding the point of giving.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from the action of giving and from the concept itself instead of realizing that giving is an expression of myself here.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the act of giving to the feeling of love
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the act of giving within and as love
i forgvie myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when i give i am showing love and sharing love to/with another instead of realizing the amount of seperation i exist within and as such action.
i forgive myself for acceptign and allowing myself to seperate myself from the act/concept of giving and from the feeling of love within and as defining the act of giving with and as the feeling of love.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to beleive that i have to give in a relationship in order to maintain the relationship.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to demand the other to give at least as much as i have given in a relationship and therefore exist within and as a polarity manifestation within and as the relatioship.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate the other with the thing i give to him/her within a relationship.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and control other beings within and as my participation within and as a relationship with the other being.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only consider animate objects such as humans or animals to be an "object" of giving and consider only inanimate things as an "item" to give.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i can give something that is actually not real/existing such as feelings/thoughts/emotions/ideas/preceptions/information&knowledge. lol.
i forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to consider every being here either inanimate or moving (from the point of my human physical eyes) and to not see understand and realize that i can give to all equally within and as myself as giving.
Self-correction:
I commit myself to Give to all beings ethernally and unconditionally myself and my process of walking here becoming myself within and as life and speaking, writing, sorting, forgiving myself dayly and sharing it unconditionally.

when and as i see myself going into the pattern of selfishness based giving, i stop, breathe, forgive myself, and release my self created points and give unconditionally and discuss my process regarding my realizations within and as giving to another.

when and as i see myself going into the pattern of giving in order to receive and participating within and as the L.O.A. i stop myself i breathe and forgive myself and walk my correction within and as life here in the physical.

when and as i see myself wanting or demanding somtheing from another, instead of reqireing demanding forcing the other to change or give it i discuss and share myself unconditionally regarding the points and discuss and coma to an agreement with the other about the point.

when and as i see myself going into the pattern of spiting others or myself i stop, breathe, forgive myself, and see within and as common sense what and how i can establish an agreement considering all in order to do what is best for all. and also investigate what i am allowing and accepting myself as the base of spiting the other or myself regarding the specific point.

when and as i see myself participating and existing within and as contradiction/polarity, i stop breathe forgive myself investigate myself and walk my self corrective application here within and as the physical.

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