2012-06-27

Day 20: How did i want that, again?

Today this got me multiple times...to fell into the "trap of the mind" where the only outcome is more and more separation and more and more thinking.
Yet i was able to stop it with breathing and bringing myself back here.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself the thought "how do i solve this?" to exist within and as my mind as myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think "how do i solve this?" and try to come up with solutions instead of being here within and as breath and realizing the obvius solution that is in front of my nose.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought "how do i solve this?" with the emotion of frustration.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself define myself according to the emotion of frustration based on the thought "how do i solve this?"
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the emotion of frustration.
so when i tried to put together my project of furniture somehow it doesen't looked like fitting so i went into my mind and tried to shearch for reasons or steps that where i could screw up my work, and why does not the reality fit's the planned paper-drawing and ect. and went far and wide but could not find an answer...in my mind as a picture there is only a picture of the finished product not about the pieces that makes up the whole, so i didnt see how the pieces relate to each other where they contact and such so i didn't realize that what i see is actually okay! and should be that way!
and this took up like 30-45minutes of my work because all i was about that i made an error because it does not look like it should. yet at the end here within and as breath i saw that it is as okay as it is.
I commit myself to keep myself here-breathing while exectuing tasks regarding my work and not allow myself to go into the mind for answers and comparison and judgements about what i do or the piece i work on.
when and as i see myself going into the pattern of questioning my sanity of actions i stop, breathe forgive myself and let go of the point and realize myself here and continue with my physical activity if it's best for all.
when and as i see myself goint into the pattern of judgeing, comparing the thing i'm working on with images and thoughts within and as the mind, i stop, breathe, forgive myself and let go of the points that relates to that.
when and as i see myself going into the pattern of thinking something over and over and over again without realizing myself, i stop, breathe, bring myself back here, forgive myself and correct my self application and see/realize the common sense solution for the problem.

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