2012-06-27

Day 23:TIME...consumed?

Interesting thing when we think about time as we are IN it and flow inside and being under "the law of time"...

but really looking into myself what is time? i don't yet know myself enough to know myself as time...all i realized is that i am one and equal to and as time itself...but i have yet to walk my process of investigating and understanding myself to realize time as myself as who i am.

currently i exist within a system of time where minutes and seconds and hours and days pass as a seemingly one directin one dimensonal strict "space" but because it's one directional only it is not even one dimension...only HALF.

so within this i have to do many things and the actions are separated by time...or my own self expression of myself as time.

all i have is that i have certain limits of time in which i can have a certain amount of breath/moments and thus these moments accumulate within and as me -what i did- and by the very existing of ONE singular moment is defining myself within and as the point and not JUST me as an individual being but all of existance...

and when i say "i don't have time" it means i did/do not allow myself to have enough of myself and enough moments with myself therefore i do not being intimate with me.

and altough managable time is a key separation within and as humans and 'everyday' (even the term is ridiculus realizing that time is me as separation) existance.

so yes currently in this human body in this world of society in this city in this house ect. here i am "not having enough time" to do what is asked of me to be done. what do i get for this at the "deadline"? i get killed-abused, confiscated, stopped the support chain, kicked out, sent to retry ect.

i know what is ESSENTIAL for me within time: air-breathing at least a certain amount per minute, materials(call them food, water, minerals, vitamins or whatev) for the body to be able to function, and that is it! nothing else is "required" for me to continue the existance of my human physical existance...of course to "feed" the mind i would have to do plenty of things like entertainment, conversation, action, judgements, think feel ect.

in our current world of humans we are dying fast. so fast that we even fear it. but we are killing ourselves and that is the reason for it. the body is planned to "live" for so much more than 80-110years.

so we make fixed deadline in order to not have to face our unknown DEAD-line of our body stopping to function. because we within and as the mind know that without a hosting body the mind CANNOT and WILLNOT exist...and we are grown into and as the mind so we beleive that we are it...in fact this is funny, the most separation-creation is a connection! a connection between the I of me and the I of the mind. but this connection is only able to exist when there are separation between the two!

so i'm asked to do a 'final year exam work' furniture for which i choose a bit tricky construction. yet i have little time left to finish it because i allowed my boss to not buy the materials earlier to be able to start it. he wanted more of my work committed towards his company's profits and i was fearing him. this led here where i have to make a furniture normally taking 8-10 days of work in 6daysonly, and i didn't even add the amount i spent it on here, at home.

i have a deadline of 24th early morning where i'm dead in the eyes of the judge if i cannot make it and he will sign my work as "failed" on my exam. but let me question the system:"IS IT SO?" as i see being late is not faliure. and every human is SOOOO much into timing and deadlines and this generates TREMEDORUS amounts of fear every milisecond around the globe! wouldn't it be easier in a system where altough being organised you don't have to ever worry about time?

actions are measured in qualities and quantities...if i for example draw for 2000hours to become a great drawer it does not matter if i did that in 84days (min) or in 365times as long which is 84years. it does not matter. the accumulative effect is the same if we only look at this point. and this is the real meaning of "sooner or later i'll get there"

now here i can choose 2 of the following:
use as much time from my 24 hours that i can while compromising my body's cycles and workings OR may not finish the product on time.

well i choose the common sense way/answer.work without causing the body harm, so i am sleeping, eating drinking as usual, maybe not going online and watch vids or converse with anyone except this blog because this is what and breathing and SF is what i IN NO SITUATION GIVE UP. i don't care about anything or anyone i am walking this wihtin and as me,

i am time, i am my human physical body, i am work, i am deadline, i am finish, i am the judge, i am the effort, i am stopping i am all as one and equal "time" to live this as myself.

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