2012-06-27

Day 37: "BIG changes"

when i look at my past 20-or so years i've always existed as this point where i believed that in a human's life there are "everyday"s and "big moments" where big changes happen and the individuals experiance completely changes within a small timeframe...

...What i did not see/realise is that a change is only "instant" if the being change from self-direction. and looking at myself and how i existed as before i see that every seemingly "big change of the mind" was actually pre-laid before month or even years before and it was only a turning point (apoapsis for a more mathematical term) and so i also failed to see that i am only resposible for all changes i have accepted and allowed myself to manisfest here-within the physical.

such changes involve going to a different school/university, getting a girlfriend, having organised some jobs/working, partaking a type of course ect.

and so i allowed myself to exist within and as the illusion of "a big change is hapening to me" where i thus allowed anxiety,fear,hope,planningthinking and many other "mind-activities" to give my participation and so i only became more and more intertwined and consisting of/as the matrixes and systems that are pre-designed to keep me and every other human preoccupied and in separation.

so here i am at some events that are happpening (i mean i cause and work for them to manifest) with me that are showing a change in myself (reflecting myself-change) but actually, facts are, i am as the being that reamins if everything is taken away, does not change in any way. however i do change(d) myself as cosciousness of myself with and as the mind and walking the process of birthing myself from the physical. i still have plenty of things to do and work on.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a change in my direct or indirect enviroment is independent from my participations and actions.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from the actions that are "happening" to me, instead of realising that i am the change and responsible for the change.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my past based on how many "big changes" have happened to me.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my past within measuring what and how big effect i experienced within my past
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from my experiences and past events that i was part of.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see understand and realise that those "big changes" are only turning points of larger-longer participations as polarity manifestations and only indicate a shifting within and as a polarity construct.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate wihtin and as polarity manifestations and also limit myself from seeing/understanding/realising them and myself.
i forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself to only be interested in the turning point of a process and disregard the fact that without the process of getting to the turning point the turning point would not even exist at alll.
i forgive myself for accepitng and allowing myself to only be interested in turning points and not the actual process that takes a being there, therefore neglecting to see the whole point.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge other beings and want/desire to figure out what kind of and when turning points the being encountered and thus judgeing those points.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and manifest matrixes of information and knowledge about turning points in a beings life, and make myself believe that i know what makes a being to be what they are without any investigations whatsoever.

i realise that all change is me and i am resposnible for any and all changes wihtin and as my world both my direct enviroment and my indirect enviroment.
i realise that if i am not changing from the starting point of self-direction than that is not actually a change but instead just following accepting and llowing my pre-programmed design to control me and direct me.

when and as i see myself going into the pattern of judgeing myself or another being, i stop, breathe, forgive myself, and walk my commitment to stop any and all participation within and as judgements and separation.

i commit myself to show myself and others as me that i am resposible for any and all points/circumstances within and as my direct or indirect enviroment, therefore i commit myself to take my self-resposnibility for any and all points i encounter.
i commit myself to stop any and all judgements either towards myself or others and investigate the facts about the object of my judgements and see/understand and realise what is here presented and reflected to and as myself within and as me and others as me.

if you really want a B.I.G. change check out BasicIncomeGrant and the equalmoneysystem, but again these are not overnight changes but we have to implement them step-by-step and walk our process of correction breath-by-breath till every and all beings are here co-existing in equality and oneness.

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