2012-06-29

Day 55: Giving into Resistances...or not

this process is not a piece of cake-it never was-actually nothing IS. but one thing i can do is make it harder/slower for myself, and i have been pretty busy with that sometimes.
Somehow we humans also follow Newton's first law of motion, or at least the mind does, where we like to be either in a constant (growing)motion or complete stillness(in a point)
and we do this soooooo much that whenever a SLIGHT thing causes to have to re align your points according to the changed situation...well pretty much the drag "force" like sqat groups quickly deploys.

resistance - it means many things mostly that something have opposite forces against the medium it's in. for example water and air has to "go around" an object BECAUSE ITS PHYSICAL and so this bumping into the thing makes it move...yet the thing it bumps into are always try to stay the same based on physics. and because BALANCE is the main power of the universe a force is applied in order to balance the equasion.

but how comes the mind to such thing?
because the mind likes to stay in its programming-constraints based on that it's not existing outside of them and it fears being "out there" because it does know that then it will cease to exist-like a dream itself does not exist outside of dreaming. the next thing is that it is based on an want of infinite growth-because more and more systems manifest and more and more energy is required to operate and less and less comes from a dying body so it becomes more and more "agressive" to say.
what happens when you make the supply chain slower or cut it off? it will eventually die will it do anything to prevent this? OF COURSE, so it "deployes" resistance. and because i did go into accepting such pattenrs i do expressed resistance and so much it made me stop writing and not complete it but allow myself to believe that it will be "enough".

well here i see understand and realise that no such thing is there as enough if we talk about processing oneself. we do have physical limits and activities that limit the time that can be spent with processing oneself yet not so much limit but direct it instead...on can always direct oneself to deal with points-flag them or forgive-process them on-the-go there is no activity which would not allow at least one of the three

here it comes again-so i deal with myself HERE...breathing

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think "i don't have to write down self-forgiveness, it is enough if i just say them"
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the thought "i don't have to write down self-forgiveness, it is enough if i just say them" to exist within and as myself
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from the thought of "i don't have to write down self-forgiveness, it is enough if i just say them" thus define myself according to it.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself and my procees within and as resisting to write-forgive-commit-walk myself within and as self-direction, but give away my power and let myself be directed by my mind
i forgive myself for accepitng and allowing myseld to seperate myself from my self-direction
i forgive myself for accepting and allowign myself to not be self-honest with myself enough to see understand and realise that i am only creating a time loop within which i will have to revisit the point and till then accept and allow the point to manifest wihtin and as myself and my body thus prolonging my process even further and making my walking more difficult.
i forgive myself that i have acceptign and allowed myself to not trust myself enough in order to be my directive principle based on believing the mind that i am not "ready" yet
i forgive myself for accepting and allowign myself to think "i am not ready" yet to be my directive principle
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the thought of "i am not ready yet"
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my slef-responsibility based on thoughts/feelings/emotions/pictures/memories/words and thus not allow myself to be here breathing.


i commit myself to walking this process and directing myself to/towards doing what is best for all and not giving into self-dishonest judgements/fears/thoughts about myself.
i commit myself to push myself in the direction i am expressing resistance and not allow any resistance to postpone my process of establishing myself here wihtin and as the physical
i commit myself to always investigate and see/realise when i am writing out a point and see/realise any and all the resistances i encounter
i commit myself to write out all the resistance point wihtin and as myself either by relevant points or by being brought up by participation/processing of myself.
i commit myself to show every human being how we as the mind use resistances in order to show ourselves the points we are not yet stable wihtin and as and thus support them in pushing through these resistances and processing/writing them out in brutal self-honesty.

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