2012-07-06

Day 59-60: Wrath of Thunder

Being here, pushing through with writing...

so i've written my blog yesterday on a notebook-yes the paper one- and so here it is...and after i write the SF statements and corrections...yes i forgot what day-number is next...also a point of wanting to get there-will write it out.


i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think i am seperate from my computer and thus seperate myself from it, believing it is a non-living thing only and thus never take it into consideration.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from any kind of storm, thinking that because i experiance it as bigger than myself it is powerful and superior to me. thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that upon encountering a storm immediately go into judgements and polarities and thinking.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect physical energy to mind-energy and believe they are the same thing and thus can replace one-another.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect a storm to fear and anger and within this immediately go into my mind thinking, fearing getting angry when experiencing a storm within my vicinity.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself and online/computer blogging from writing on paper not realising that i am the same and the words i use are representing what i am and accepted and allowed myself to be and become no matter the medium i am experiencing them, let it be sound/voice/paper/digits/sand/songs and thus all forms and mediums of communication is one and equal thus i commit myself to stop all separation between myself and such mediums and expressions and take responsibility and investigate myself thoroughly in every one of them and push myself to explore and investigate any and all forms of communication that can assist and support in reflecting myself beack to myself.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect aggression and tightness in the physical not realising that these tow are not connected but being tight in the physical only shows resistance and mind-posession/shock thus not directly relevant to aggression rather to supression and posessions.
i forgive myself to fear of death by lightning.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear of death by lightning to fear itself thus i forgive myself that i  have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself the character of "fuck i can't do anything about this" and through this justify the action of supression and self limitations i accept and allow myself to exist within and as thus limit myself from stepping out of characters by believing myself to be inferior to characters i have created and thus fuck myself up even more with the polarity participation.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow the way of those that came before me who expressed their fear of death by lightning and thus take it personally and believe it is real and thus create and validate my fears and participation within the polarities.
i forgive myself for aceeptign and allowing myself to believe that fears actually protect me by not allowing myself to get into such situations where my fears would manifest instead of realising that my very participation within and as thes fears create and manifest them in the physical reality making it a fact in order for me to realise myself and my accepted and allowed nature of fears.
i forgive myself for accepting and alowing myself to give attention to something i limit myself of understanding like a lightning in a storm and thus go into my mind and think about it and create ideas preceptions and beliefs about it instead of realising that i am keeping myself from being here within and as the physical and realising myself within and as the lightning and the thunder as equal and one with me and realising my expression within and as them.

i commit myself to stop any and all separation of myself from computers and realise they are one and equal beings here and always assist and support me within and as my process of walking the jorney to life and so i commit myself to support computers as one and equal being as myself here.
i commit myself to stop any and all seperation to and as storms and lightnings and within this stop myself from going into my mind and paritcipate wihtin and as fears and polarity constructs of superiority/inferiority.
i commit myself to study and become one and equal to what is here and investigate the expression of physical energy and also mind-energy as it's nature and manifestation in this world.
i commit myself to stop and severe any and all connections/relationsships i made up within and as myself within and as the mind and thus set myself free from the matrixes of information and knowledge and associations i have created and existed within and as.
i commit myself to stop the separation of unique forms of self expression.
i commit myself to stop any and all separation within and as myself about expressing oneself within and as words and realise myself and my expression of myself here wihtin and as the physical.
i commit myself to stop the assumptions about the physical and what causes certain manifestations and commit myself to investigate what is here and thus realise myself as the physical and stop the interconnectedness of ideas and preceptions within and as memories and stop any and all assumptions.
i commit myself to stop any and all participation within and as fears in and as the realisation that i only create fears based on fear of myself thus hereby i commit myself to investigate and get to know myself and stop fearing myself and thus stop all fears within and as myself here.
i commit myself to stop and step out of the character "i can't do anything about it" and stop justifying the limitation and supression of myself within and as this character.
i commit myself to stop blindly accepting of what is passed down from those who came before me and push myself to investigate every single point i encounter and test it out in common sense if it is best for all.
i commit myself tostop my beliefs and preceptions about fears and realise that fears assist in no way whatsoever and only create abuse and thus commit myself to stop all fears within and as myself.
i commit myself to stop myself from giving higher value to those things that i fear, thus stop participating wihtin polarity constructs and walk myself the realisation and application that i am one and equal to and as all that i here.

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