2012-07-13

Day 63-64: Relaxation -solution- part 3

this is the continuation of the last 2 posts:
Part 1:Genesis
Part 2: Missing a day

so here comes all the self forgiveness  for the points:


i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge kindergartens for what the kids are put through
i forgive myself that i haven't allowed and accepted myself to see understand and realize that the education system is created only in order to generate and create mind-robots from children and to prepare them to be participating in and as the system of money/work as it currently functions therefore implementing systems and rules to be able to regulate and control the organic robots. within this i commit myself to show and expose how much kindergartens and schools are a tool to keep the system alive and to produce more drones for it to be able to maintain the system of abuse in the world.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a connection/relationship to/towards beings who are telling/ordering me what to do in the moment and thus seperate myself from them and from what they ask me to do and to not question anything regarding this point, therefore here i commit myself to when and as i see myself accepting and allowing blindly what i am being ordered to do and thus not consider what is best for all, to stop, breathe and take into consideration every point and direct myself and share it with the other the solution to/towards what is best for all.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge sleeping when i am not physically tired based on fear of missing an opportunity to do something.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear missing an opportunity based on the idea that when i am resting i cannot do anything and not doing anything thus not participating wihtin and as life.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not participating in life instead of realising that within this i only seperate myself from and as life and living and thus only exist within and as the point of separation and thoughts/ideas/beliefs and not actually Live life here thus wihtin this allow myself to fuel this fear with the reality and allow myself to go deeper and deeper into fear while also fearing my own fear.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be directed by/as fear of not living based on the fear of non-existance and fear of self and create and infinite stupidity loop where i only exist within and as fear and limit myself from seeing understand ing and realising that i am the starting/creating point within this and i only have to stop the cycle.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from school institutions and from home by creating different characters for each one and switching between them according to where i am.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself the creation of the relaxed character and the working charater and connect them to places, times, activities and thus limit myself from being here and expressing myself and only participating within and as polarity constructs, fears, and characters.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the time i am existing wihtin and as when doing activities that entertain me/mind and connect them to the relaxation charater within and as myself.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to develop and evolve my characters while walking through and as my life and make sure to keep myself within the boundaries of characters and within that create behaviours and personalities which i allow myself to be and become possessed by/as thus to only exist within and as them.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only exist within and as characters paersonalities, behaviour patterns, that i create and thus manifest wihtin and as the world and so justify these within and as the world to exist.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to udge time based on the characters i take on as relaxation or working and thus seperate myself from and as time.
...

so generally what is this point of relaxation at all? what is this charaer and where did i originate this from? what started this snowball of mess? the answer is simple and were right in fron of me the whole time...myself, i lived trhough lve and while doing it through my programmings i stored plenty of memories as "learning" about the world, one of them were that i saw that my mother was living a cool life with doing nothing all day just making some food and taking care of the phisical, so through this i immediately created a character based on this memory and lived trough this and made myself a goal that i have to achieve at all costs-to live- and made it the base of freedom and so trough this defined all my life on this and so lived off wihtin and as this character MY WHOLE EXISTANCE THUS FAR. it not living i just existed as an organic robot of programs. making sure i keep myself within the boundaries of the programming and thus exist accordingly.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create and exist wihtin and as a character of relaxation and thus limit myself to only exist within the boundaries of this character and thus accept and allow myself to abuse myself and other beings in order to accomplis the goal of the character i created myself.
 i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within and as the character of relaxation.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from the character of relaxation by defining myself within and as the character of relaxation.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to be relaxed in every moment possible and thus always shearch for and look for ways to get myself into such a position/state.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jusdge my mother and her state of relaxation to be good/positive/right and thus make it a goal of my life to exist within and as relaxation as much as possible
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from the state of relaxation within and as the physical and thus create a friction within and as myself and thus continue to participate within and as this friction and thus generate energy for/as my mind from the physical therefore continue to allow myself to abuse my physical that which assists supports and provides for me unconditionally.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allwed myself to create and manifest a fear of not being relaxed enough.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being realxed enough.
i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to connect the fear of not being relaxed enough to itself, thus i forgive myself that i have alowed myself to fear my own fear.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest the fear of not working enough.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear not working enough
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the fear of not working enough to itself thus i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to fear my own fear.
i forgive myself to only exist within and as the characters i create and constantly and continuosly swith between them according to certain trigger events that i connect to memories and thus limit myself from being here and not participating within and as characters.

i commit myself to stop any and all separation and judgements to/towards any and all facilities of education and expose/show that it is not the facilities or organizations that we have to judge but our participations and acceptances and allowances created the systems the way they are currently exist therefore to change the systems we must one by one change and stand up within and as ourselves and no longer accept and allow such points to control and posess us.
i commit myself to stop any and all judgements to/towards sleeping and resting of the HumanPhysicalBody and thus realise that in order to function properly it requires to rest in certain intervals based on the amount of usage and/or abuse done to the body thus i commit myself to not participate in good/bad polarity judgements about resting/sleeping.
i commit myself to stop chasing opportunities to experiances and allow myself to simply be here within and as breath and allow myself to see understand and realise what is here and what i can take as a corrective action as a support for myself and for all.
i commit myself to stop judging myself and the process i walked/walk and allow myself to be here breathing and see understand and realise myself and my accepted and allowed nature as what it is.
i commit myself to stop myself from giving my power away to let something else in separation control and posess me based on fears thus i commit myself to realise and stop all fears within and as myself.
i commit myself to stop the creation of characters based on certain specific memories and push myself to investigate, realise and stop and step out of existing characters i have created and allowed myself.
i commit myself to stop the separation of expressions of myself here as existing in different characters thus allow myself to remain here constant and cinsistent and realise and develop my self-expression of life without any characters ,judgements,fears,thoughts,emotions and ideas.
i commit myself to stop any and all fears of and from myself and allow myself to investigate and realise myself here and become intimate with myself.

next will be redefining words on these points...

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