2012-07-27

Day 75: Waiting part 2

So i left off in the previous post (Waiting part 1) at the types of waiting.
also i saw this video about what "professionals" have to say about waiting:
 


in this video he is talking about the conscious kind of waiting, where the reason of it is to collect more information to make a better decision, and thus make a decision/reaction that is best for self.
and we reached where i write about WHY we wait at all.
looking through my life, my reasons for waiting were:
- because i've been told to = accepting and allowing others to direct=giving away my power=self-limitation=self-dishonesty
- based on the belief that it is only on a given date/time=separation from time and the point i'm waiting like birthdays for example.=not wanting to see the reality of the point=self-sabotage=self-dishonesty
- based on the belief that i am not ready for it yet=lack of self-trust=not knowing self=self-dishonesty
- letting something evolve/expand to a certain point/state(this is the one shown in the video)=lack of consideration of participation within the point=wanting to have the world in a certain way in order to move=lieing to myself that i cannot yet do what i plan to=self-dishonesty

it is simple and easy to see that every starting point shows self-dishonesty thus if one is honest with oneself-there are no real reasons to wait for anything at all...and this i walk in this blog...i'm not gonna wait till i'm understanding time or waiting or the mind in it's full form...I GO FOR IT! i am here, breathing looking at this point in common sense, and realising the bullshit I've accepted and allowed myself throught my life. i'm not waiting for others to write about this point, nor to have a magnificent realisation...i do not procratrinate-i act and direct myself here.

of course waiting is linked to a TON of point in every one of us...we have waited so long and so much in our life...and thus after this general SF and SCS i commit myself to shearch and discover any connections between points i work on and the point of waiting and thus investigate the relationship and forgive,let go, and walk my process point by point, day by day, stopping myself from participating within and as waiting/procrastination.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait/procrastinate based on the justification that other beings told me to wait and thus accepting and allowing myself to be directed by others and not see understand and realise that i can direct myself and do what is best for all instead of simply waiting for someone and therefore i commit myself to stop justifying the action of waiting/procrastiantion and to direct myself to be here and walk my process and do what i direct myself to and when the moment of meeting comes be here fully within and as the physical and not relate or act based on the past events/experiances.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not direct myself and justify this with the backchat "others asked/told/ordered me to ..." and thus limit myself of being here and realising myself in this i commit myself to always direct myself and express this also here in the physical and stop, forgive,let go of the backchat and the trigger points of the particular backchat for that point.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait to an event from the starting point that it is only happening on a particular date/time and to limit myself from understanding how i limit myself in time and create relationships to/towards time and the point/event i wait for, and exist only within and as this relationship based on that i gain energy from it within and as the mind within this i commit myself to see understand and realise that any event can occur at any time regardless of my ideas/beliefs/views except the ones i create as a projections into the future and still those can be altered and the only real event is what is here in the physical and thus waiting for something that is not defined in time is only creating and existing wihtin and as a stupidity loop where i limit myself from being one and equal to what is here and seperating myself from time also. and I further commit myself to stop myself from waiting for a scheduled event to occur and simply be here within and as breath at that time/date and do what i scheduled myself to do from the starting point of directing myself here.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not in the condition of doing a particular task at hand and backchatting about "i'm not ready yet" and also to react within and as fear. i commit myself to see understand and realise that there is not such condition of "not being able to do something" and that this is just a defense mechanism i use in order to not take self responsibility for myself and to not have to do the particular task at hand. thus i commit myself to stop, breathe and let go of any self-judgements about my ability to do the task at hand and to investigate what and how i am able to do at the moment and apply that in the situation while considering what is best for all, and to not participate in the postponement character.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait from the starting point of letting something evolve/expand to a desired state and in this create separation from time, the object and the process of waiting, and being dishonest with myself about what i am able to do in order to achieve the result i want. i commit myself to see understand and realise what i am able to do at the moment for what is best for all and immediately after this investigation direct myself to take action regarding the points/activities and thus show that there is no need to wait for something because I can always create and manifest the particular outcome with directing myself here in every moment.

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