yes i know i missed out days...yet it is like not at all happened, yet i cannot reverse this i cannot pretend it's not hapened, it did. and i missed opportunities to be here and write myself out.
yet got to the end of this.
when i were in the mind about what i do dayly what to do next in line and whatnot the decisions tend to slip off to the direction of NOT walking the process... based on that it is not good for the mind because it diminishes and uncovers the secret agenda where i wage war against myself and everything and that i am. thus if i allow myself to be controlled and posessed by this i am not effective at anything else than staring in front of myself...thinking.
after the realisation of this the question arises obviusly: "what can i effectively do to stop myself and establish a stable platform of assistance and support i can provide for myself here?"
first of all being here is cool but wanting to hold every information in the head as memories is not just difficult but impossible based on how it is built.
So after writing down what i would have to do dayly i went on and investigated approximately how long it takes to me to do it minimum.
and so i took the notepad gadget and written a dayly schedule for myself from hour to hour(mostly it is multihour activities) and while considering the physical as working capacity i made my days in a way that is not just about working on process all day long non-stop but allowing myself to also do creative, movement/sports, translations, freetime activities like watching films ect. and so with this while considering anything and everything involved in my day-to-day living.
and interestingly the list was made in 15 minutes to write...
the bit harder part is committing myself to it and walking it fully as i saw then after making it.
yet today as i have walked through my day with keeping myself to this schedule i find that it is pretty easy and fun to have this guide of myself to assist and stop me from going into the mind of "what to do???" and all the backchat about activities and what i like/dislike.
of course here are some minor changes like conversational breaks or shopping outtakes yet going according schedule is really assistive. for example i could advance in my translating projects really huge amount which i calculated to take 2-3 days it only took 2 hours+ 20 mins to check...
so breathing being here, walking and keeping myself to assist and support myself here. the best things i ever did in my life. i can only suggest it to anyone reading this.