Day 97: Finances

as i paid my dues and organised my future regarding them i was able to push trhough points that came up regarding the point of money...there are lots of em' i know yet one by one, breath by breath, i breathe and work on myself and establish myself here.


Day 96: Ask and you will be giving it to you.

there are plenty of translations and rewritings and conceptualising around those books that an organisation gives as "the way to live your life", and thus tries to make you do what they tell you in order to feel safe.
the problem is that there as with any written "history record" there is a misunderstanding of the era and even the sources of course cannot be completely trusted.
and thus the message is mostly distorted or turned in order to make others follow/believe/change.


Day 95: epic FAIL!

here i write about an event where i have been possessed by the fear of the future.

It was not an instant thing where the moment before i had no fear and the next i had total fear. of course it was a build-up process which really was building up for 2 freakin years!


Day 94: Specialisation

Here i talk about human evolution and program, so basically about evolution of programs because in reality oddly enough we humans currently the majority exist only as programs and organic robots where we turn on in the morning, boot up our systems, oil the parts, have a basic maintenance, make sure enough fuel is in the tank to go for the day(which we regularly fill up 3-5times a day) then commute to the place/organisation/system/factory where start producing products/energy till the sun is up or more, then travel back to the "home" compartment using again the same movement system only to take care of our body mechanics and then turn off for the rest of the night/dawn. during this we constantly and continuously execute programs both in the mind"compartment" and in the physical.


Day 93: Loosing "my precious" part 2

This is a continuation of Day 92: Loosing "my precious" part 1
this is the picture when i got the bicycle in 1999-05-03 here at my grandmother's place
from left ot right:my grandfather, my brother Á., me 10y old, and my father Z.


Day 92: Loosing "my precious" part 1

Here i walk the journey of the realisation and application regarding fear of loosing something.

it was in 1999 that i got a bicycle for my own on my birthday in may it was new and black and cool and shiny that i just fell in love with it...and because we were living in a bit of interesting shaped town with ups and downs (just like my life back then) and because i always loved to ride i really got into loving my bike, i mean i washed it and always were careful about how i change gears and how much pressure i put on pedals and at the same time it meant a bit of freedom to me that i could just roll out and go fast on it and enjoy those moments of rolling down the dirt road with about 30km/h and make jumps and steep turns...i just loved to roll on it.


Day 91: Emptyness

here are these moments and sometimes seemingly days where i TRY to look back and just allow myself to see nothing. nothing at all, and through this i go into this emotion of emptyness of seeing nothing of me in my past...and this is a huge rad-flag because it clearly indicates that i'm still defining myself based on my past. and judge myself based on what i did or not did...so it's godd time as any to stand up and stop this nonsensical self-sabotageing abuse.


Day 90: Dedication and Problem Solving

today morning i had a dream which opened up this point and i took it through my day to investigate myself as the various aspects of it. (will later link the link of the detailed description of the dream in my other blog)

Long story short I was a civilan human being captured by an alein race dragged and tortured and became an activist militia and grouped up with other hostages and broke free yet it was only a trap to lead "the enemy" home to our base so i were re-captured. the key point was interesting because after this point i became more aware of the situation here while being in the dream and stuud up and started negotiating with the aliens and directed myself to give offers and communicate what is best for all including both races and finally we came to agreement which i devoted myself to do and it was establishing a starting point for equality and cooperation between all beings of both factions.


Day 89: SOUND as ME part 2-Music is Life

"live music"
This is a continuation of: Day 56 sound as me part 1-the voice within

in my childhood i heard a ton of music. mainly because my father worked and still works in the Hifi industry manufacturing electronics and acoustics for music-listening purposes. therefore we always had some kind of music player and mostly the best quality that we could have and listen to his favourite songs and collections. also we had an electronic keyboard and he could play fairly well on it and i always enjoyed when he played on it and could hear "live music" for the first time.


Day 88: Non-Stop

while investigating what i did/do in my past i came across this point of "fake dedication" where i go into doing something, not caring about anything, not being aware of it's starting point just doing and doing and doing it till finish or till loosing or till it becomes worthless-meaning i will be required to give more energy/resources in than get out at the end.


Day 87: four days later...

Time progresses, breaths came and go, beings births and dies, moons,planets,stars,galaxies move around, and this is what we call "the flow". but mainly this flow is only in our mind and while not being here we end up chasing it and being all wondered about it and thinking and imagineing and stuff...while we suck our body and the earth dry.


Day 86: Giving Life

there are plenty of context for this action...giving life...and it is based on our narrom-minded concept of life&death.

our fantasies and concepts and beliefs are all can be watched in moovies or TVshows or pictures or any other material we created...and every thought and feeling and idea around this has been recorded in one way or another.


Day 85: Standing up within and as Learning

we even have systems which shows the system of learning we developed
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take something i do for granted and not see understand and realise all the consequences i create with my participation.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the ability to learn for granted and believe that it's a natural thing to do AS i am presented and asked to do it in school.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to mimic, and copy other humans on how to learn while not considering or investigating if it's effective or supportive at all.
i forgive myself for accepting nad allowing myself to create and develop habits in learning that are based on my thoughts/feelings/emotions and thus allow myself to learn only as a reaction to the material or the teacher or the enviroment.


Day 84: Learn how-to Learn? part 1

There are plenty of things through our lives we just take for granted and never really actually go looking into as something worth considering...we just tend to act like it's normal and it is how it should be and all is well. Here it is clear that our world and what we do is NOT at all okay or normal not even acceptable at all so this is the main clue and reason why one-by one we have to investigate ourselves and see understand and realise the points we created and what it causes-therefore we can forgive and correct ourselves and start as a foundation for a world that is best for all, and for the generations to come.


Day 83: Learning?!? i don't know...

yesterday and today i've been tutoring another in the are of Math. SHe contacted me and asked for assistance in certain topics to be able to pass the graduation re-exam from math because last year she failed to pass them and because one of my classmates suggested me to tutor her.

Day 82: Falling asleep - self-direction

yesterday evening, before my normal going to sleep time...i was not complete with my day regarding the activities i do dayly for example writing a blogpost every day...and i was listening to some music and leaning on my bed...and again...i felt asleep, i really listened with awareness to the music keeping myself understanding or using my brain and one moment i just got asleep as a blackout...


Day 81: Mind Placement

I as an organic robot in most of my life before starting this process, was "learned" from my very childhood that whatever i experiance or think or make up, i must hold onto that, because that is what either me or the world is...and both were taught to be important to me...of course seperately.


Day 80: being Thrown around

i experiance these moments/days, where i planned something yet i allow myself to be thrown around and not do exactly what i planned...blaming something else that it screwed with my schedule and thus i can't do it so within this i go and justify that i don't have to do the rest at all...while of course missing breathing...and this is also another point which made me miss days...


Day 79: Physical Preparing

in the last post HERE i talked about preparing from the point of the mental - or hypothetic view yet not all preparations are like that.


Day 78: Preparation

while i'm as all of humanity has been living in the past-present-future constantly and continuosly, i've been analyzing the past, shearching for the present and planning-prepareing for the future, and existing in this cycle forever...