2012-08-25

Day 93: Loosing "my precious" part 2

This is a continuation of Day 92: Loosing "my precious" part 1
this is the picture when i got the bicycle in 1999-05-03 here at my grandmother's place
from left ot right:my grandfather, my brother Á., me 10y old, and my father Z.


so here are the self-forgivenesses:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give value to certain specific items that i get to touch and "own" based on my idea of "property".
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place more value in items that i can and do have a memory shared with other persons.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to access all the connections and relationships with other beings when i came into contact with items that have a memory linked to those beings. thus only doing this in order to justify the relationships and generate energy within and as myself for and as the mind constructs as myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become addicted to items that have such connections to memories/beings/feelings/thoughts and to the energy i generate within and through accessing such relationships and creating separation within and as myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to as the addict to this energy not allow myself to stop or even consider stopping based on the fear of death.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear death based on the assumption that when i stop generating and feeding myself wihtin and as the mind system with energy i will cease to exist/die.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect not consuming energy to fear - and thus i forgive myself for acceptign and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect death by lack of energy to fear and thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ONLY take care of itmes that i have a strong relationship with meaning i have plenty of connections to memories and beings within the relationship with that item, and thus categorize and prioritise the items i have in the order of how much energy i can create trough it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only consider items as a trigger point and justification to generate energy and feed my addiction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge other beings based on their curreent state in the physical.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and maintain relationships with other beings based on my judgements of them. for the sake of energy generation.
I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for the mistakes i make and only hide in blame of others from myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create and exist within and as a "shock" experiance and temporarily limit myself from actually being here within and as the physical and to only try to seek a solution that is BEST FOR ME without considering ANYTHING or ANYONE in the process.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if i create a "nice" and "positive" projection into and as the future then that future will somehow magically manifest itself without me having to do anything at all, and thus take that outcome for granted before it actually would happen.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and believe in those future projections ONLY to escape reality and the consequences of my actions and participations
i forgive myself for accepting and llowing myself to try to escape from my responsibility with creating and projecting nice and positive outcomes based on fear of loosing control
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing control of my life based on the the reality the not directing myself means that i am a slave to somthing/someones else which proove me my iferiority and unequality to life which i created as fear
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being inferior to something based on the fear of death and fear of loss.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being equal to life based on fear of loss and fear of death

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to expect the outcome that i projected in my mind as a probable perfect outcome and also to be "surprized" when this clearly impossible outcome does not exist HERE (lol)
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and experiance being suprized and to generate energy with it and only to conseal the fact that i am supressing my fears while participating within and as it and thus creating more and more separation within and as myself.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to limit my comprehension abilities and to act out that "i can't believe this" what is here and that im not living in the outcome which i projected for myself.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the point of posession and take it as a normal thing thus within this create the opposite of owning an item: loosing the item and therefore create and manifest loosing the item and JUSTIFY my fear of loss
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist and participate within and as the polarity of ownership/loss and allow it to exist within and as myself.

Self corrective statements:
when and as i see myself giving value to items based on the amount of relatioships and energy i have connected with it, i stop and breathe.
i realise that giving value to items and measuring that value and comparing with other items and participating within judgements/comparisons/relationships/energy addiction limits my understanding and application with and as the items and makes it impossible to exist as one and equal as them.
I commit myself to investigate and delete any and all given values to items and to only see them as what they are here within and as the physical as other expressions of myself.

when and as i see myself establishing and maintaining relationships towards things i seperated myself from, i stop and breathe.
i realise that by seperating myself from other expressions of myself i only create friction within and as myself and thus accept and allow all things that are based on separation in existance.
i commit myself to find and end all relatioships i have created towards other expressions of myself and SHOW that oneness and equality is here and that no being requires relathionships in order to exist.

when and as i see myself participating/existing wihtin and as fear, like fear of loss, fear of death, fear of myself, i stop and breathe.
i realise that fears are not real and that i only created them in order to further seperate myself from myself based on the lack of understanding and being myself as who i am here.
i commit myself to stop any and all fears and creation of fears within and as myself and show that all beings can exist without fears.

when and as i see myself participating wihtin and as energetic polarities like superiority/inferiority, ownership/loss, i stop and breathe.
i realise that neither part of the polarity is actually real and thus only exists in order to keep myself from being here and realise myself as all as one and equal.
i commit myself to stop any and all participation in polarity constructs such as the inferiority/superiority and ownership/loss constructs.

this ends this series.

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