2012-08-31

Day 97: Finances

as i paid my dues and organised my future regarding them i was able to push trhough points that came up regarding the point of money...there are lots of em' i know yet one by one, breath by breath, i breathe and work on myself and establish myself here.

In the past i have various attitudes towards money in general...and till my university years i have never experianced debt personally at all, i mean i knew and experienced what it was like to be poor and have no money, and had some days when i had money and could by the small things i saw and wanted to buy (nothing above 10-30$) and i did ask my friends to buy me some food in the school cafe but i had a relationship where if one had money and the other food it was a common sense exchange and an always returned favor.
actually i never liked the idea of being in debt to someone who can force you to do something just because of money. yet when i was in my relationship her position and circumstance(having low to no funds, having to always beg for things from parents, not really organised shopping habits ect.) i just somehow wihtin the idea that she is my other half and we are equal and stuff i just spent money on her more than i have ever spent on myself untill that time summed. and thus got into taking the student loan...and help her provide for her basically like a husband but without a job still being a student and failing at university. but i justified my actions with the fact that she got noone else to turn to and that i must make her safe and sound.
and in these times i actually did the things i have to pay for now, i took loans on my name and given it to her...not literally but indirectly and because she agreed to pay me back (which she never did) i kept my debt on hold...
and based on my fears i evaded their call-to-pay's and letters and such and we can see how slow the buerocracy is that it took the 3YEARS to actually get a hold of themselves and start threatening with coming to my grandma's place where i live and tke furniture and stuff to balance the debt. 3 fucking years. why they were in no hurry? just examine the facts: i've taken an ipad for~220$ and had another loan for a phone and bills for about another ~180$ after these 3 years the first deal wnated to punch off ~489$ and the other wants ~729$ and this includes handleing and all costs. so from and inital 400$ bill now i have to pay 1210$ approx three times as much...well inflation was not this high man :lol
so debt companies LOVE customers like me...i hide and kept it a secret and didn't care about it, and now there are larger consequences. they like this because they get more money...this is why there are so much debit and credit card issuers and product-loans and 0$-takeaway prices! just to make the snowball grow! they actually hate those customers who pay their debt on time!

As i stood there on the customer side of the table and talking with the nice smiley women who only does this job to not starve about how to suck my wallet dry...i was able to not go into any feelings/emotions and to be here breathing, applying common sense, and coming to an agreement with the company. i was a little shaky and sweatty yet i were here. no thoughts i could see and i could be clear and direct in my speaking also. and interestingly when i am clear and direct others GET IT immediately and even have a little empathy too and get more cooperative.

the other thing is that in order to survive the next months at school i have to took the studentloan, i know everyone is telling that it's bad and tears my chances and will pay it till i die ect. i know that it is not true. i do need it because my grandma's pension and my father's work is not able to support me enough to survive while i'm on the university. even that the school itself IS free! yet it's clear that i will be more than able to repay this loan after it because i will be able to have a job that's paying more than minimum wage & stuff.

I vote and welcome an equal money system where no such thing as debt exists at all and all beings are equally supported in every way of their life and expression. link on the top right to see and vote for the goals.

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