2012-10-20

Day 123: Courage to stand?

Part 1
I've been seeing this point around me regarding others to themselves, and while taking back the points, i realised i do also have this in/as me.

While i've been a child, my parents treated me according to their beliefes and knowledge about childcare and parenting, which consist of a "law" which no parent want to see/realise here:"I cannot directly control my child"(or any other being really)


and so this leads to the viewpoint of guideing the child on it's development by enforcing it to a particular set of "laws" to ensure that the outcome(the matured child) will be what the parent had IN MIND. because all parents have expectations and wishes for it's kids. because we allow the idea that the more succesful our kids are the more parents we have been, kinda forcing the sins of the fathers system to continue. of course through this never ever considering the child or the effect we cause onto it.
so two methods of guide-ing a child exists:
preventing things to happen, or making things to happen.
 Prevention meaning for example grabbing the child and taking it away from the connector, or locking him/her in her room, or creating "if it does X, i allow Y" negative rules aka-punishment.
 Making things happen meaning for example doing half the work with/for him/her and letting the child to finish, asking/telling/ordering the kid to do certain things, creating positive affirmative "if...then" rules aka-rewarding.
These can also be seen as Discourageing and Encourageing the child, really many terms are existing to write down the same thing.

courage-or lack of, is an interesting polarity because there exist no middle road AT ALL. it has levels like from the negative to positive: ----staying away,---not getting involved,--being interested,-investigating +seeking others who do it, ++trying to do it, +++scheduleing/regularly participating ++++enjoying/doing it for fun/thrill/showoff
but there's no middle piece because that is just a moment of reaction-not really a decision based on that it's systems we talk about.

of course when my parents "raised me" they always expected the two ends of the polarity to be true based on their value/judgement systems, thus for me to clone their values and oppinions and systems.
And this courage or lack of is connected to the activity itself based on memories and thoughts and feelings and experiances, so it's only changed (up or down) when actually participating in the activity-or discussing it(which kinda acts the same in the mind-it can't tell the difference between imagining and participating)

even more interesting that I have a courage-meter for all actions I have done in the past. and thus all the memories of change in the levels are connected and inter-connected for example choose an activity, and see that you can recall any and all points that other's mentioned you you thought regarding that point, all the manipulation-points which then ended up as an end score/result as the courage to do that thing.

for example here i take riding a bicycle:
before i started to learn on how to ride, i already saw my older brother doing it, and he seemed to enjoy it very much(+), also my father bought me a bike(+), he made time in his day to go down and train and guide me (+), i have seen my brother falling due to lack of balance (-), i have fallen in the first 3 trys (----), later i got more confidental in positioning my balance while walking and gym classes(++), i have made a decision to try X time later(+), i have sucessfully biked to school and back (++), we have gone for tours with my dad and bro (+++) and so on and so forth. now i have plenty of courage and actually enjoy riding a bike and experiencing with different advanced manouvers or positions or balance, yet not doing BMX tricks. i've just written the first couple of factors, i have been on both side of courage in this particular activity so i can see how the system works.

so it is not JUST the parent's making this score go higher or lower with encouragin or discouraging but also enviromental factors like seeing lot of it around, social standards, cultural enviroment ect.
A child is REALLY absorbant in the first years of it's life here, and all those small points adds up.

continued in next post...
(1...2...3...stand!,is the 123rd day's realisation)

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