Day 145: Right to Fight or Right to Flight?

this is a following of the previous post here

I've been seeing this mentality in front of my eyes all the time, and been in it also, yet i've never actually realised it. It's a common concept that when an animal/human gets to a certain situation a deep instinct activates (lol) and it will bring forth a "Fight or Flight" REACTION from it and the situation and the outcome will become really unpredictable, and sudden, and RANDOM.


Day 144:Resisting to Realise Resistance

Resistance is intself a slippery ground yet for me...and i had to realise that i even resist to realise them. which is making a double trouble just for the sake of...comfort. because it's comforting to not work on resistances, to not solve fears, to not having to be self honest ALL the time.


Day 143: Mentoholic

here i continue with forgiving myself regarding the point of hating acohol and drinks based on fear and memories.


Day 142: DrinkeRAGE

Here are plenty of occasions when the event that's been organised is clearly just for the sake of drinking and partying. okay it's university, okay here's the club inside the dormitory, so it's really easy to access it.

Day 140: Harmony

All humans seeks it, yet again none of us have it fully. Why does Harmony is so special again? It's linked to plenty of words, and it's just like happiness and joy and relationship, it's a thing but it's a bit undefinable, for most humans.


Day 141: Luck strikes back!

While browsing trhough my life i did not see that i would be generally lucky, i mean i have not been repeatedly winning or having a fortune or getting everything i wanted to get...or it didn't come from nothing, because my father had worked for those things hard.

Day 139: Reasonless

Throughout my life, there were plenty of events that i could not explain the reason or meaning, just had to accept it's happened and it's real.


Day 138:Planned feature

Through my previous weeks of randomness i have been kind of struggling with my schedule, mostly based on events that i had to take, and other time i given myself a hard time with my points.

Day 137: Sleeping curse

For a long time in my life i have not considered sleeping an action, i mean, i do nothing while sleeping and i cannot control when and at what moment i fall asleep, so it remained a mistery.

Day 136: Clutural Conditioning - part3 - dedication

previously i have been writing about how i allowed myself to stand in-line for things or stand-out in part1 and part2.


Day 135: BE Happy please!

(2008-while shearching through my pictures
i could not find one where i was really "happy"
My first encounter with happiness is of course was shortly after i was born...altough i cannot remember it or recall it at all i know that it was the first time i got into contact with it...when the child is handed to the mother after birth she feels happy...for that one moment of seeing me...and that is the first moment where i met this point.


Day 134: CULTural CONditioning - part 2 - Ditching the con

in the previous post (part 1 - Behavior) I have discussed how i got into behaviourism and how i conditioned myself within and as my mind to keep to such rules. Yet sometimes i just got sick of it.

There are times when i realised that all these rules and unwritten(unspoken) laws are JUST to maintain control over the populus while a few can have their abusive ways. and these only condition us to be respectful and obidient towards those in powerful positions. Also I often wondered "why doesn't someone questions these?" and "if the teacher is teaching it FROM A BOOK, then why do we call them unwritten laws?they have been written down! in etiquette books and such!"

of course the answer to that is fairly simple: in the 14-18th century before printing or general education were inserted to the system (actually here just talking about the western european CULTure, because in egypt andd mesopotamia the same systems were in place already) the way writing worked was different from today. most of the people could not even read, nor write, only learnt how to speak by parents. the only ones who were taught to write and read were priests and nobles and their heirs (referred to as educated men) and quite funny that those educated youngsters were taught by teachers who taught them BY TELLING only, the only written texts were religious ones and literature later on. so these rules were only transcended by vocal means so they become unwritten laws.

The point that is never considered is that when we get to a situation that we experienced before and were conditioned to react in a certain way, we "remember" this by all those memories and recall them and react either by what we learned or the opposite.
when I get this roll-up of my memories(plenty of them) I always see the moment of the imprinting, and the moment of the consequence. and if I ONLY look at these i consider and make myself stuck in the situation and make myself believe that i can only choose two ways:to do as it's been told or do the exact opposite. within those pictures there seems no other "logical" way out of such experience. because it seems that ANYTHING ELSE than the conditioned reaction is AGAINST the conditioning. So within this i am participating in a polarity system of right/wrong, good/bad, positive/negative. moreover i consider and categorise the consequence as being gift/punishment, and of course all this while connecting and interconnecting these points and creating a big bunch of mess.

Why do i have so much memories where others conditioned my behaviour? repetition. all we know about teaching something to a being(animal or human alike) is that if i keep the same "if...then" loop then the being will incorporate it and creates a connection between and memorise it. the more you show the being, the more reinforcement it gets the more stable the connection. this is what Pavlov have been reshearching yet it was known way before him.

yet it is not about how we teach something...it's about the starting point of doing it. the starting point of culture and etiquette and laws is ONE point:CONTROL.
so the solution is the CHANGE our conditionings to meet a different starting point: EQUALITY.
this is Common Sense.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself according to what my parents repeteadly show me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to copy my parent's behaviural and cultural conditionings.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only consider two outcomes of any given situation:the one i have been conditioned myself, and another against it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create and maintian the polarity construct of conditioning.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only consider a positive/negative outcome of any given event.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the reaction that i have conditioned myself through my parents/education/culture to positive/good/right.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect a reaction that is not in my conditioning of myself through my parents/education/culture to negative/bad/wrong.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify my reactions with my conditioning throguh parents/education/culture.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to BLAME parents/education/culture for the consequences of my reactions.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for my reactions within and as what i have conditioned myself.
I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see understand and realise that I have conditioned myself to react therefore i am the only one responsible for the consequences.

i continue with committment statements next time...


Day 133: Cultural CONditioning - part 1 - Behavior

(good ol' brainwashing)
While walking and investigating the points where i stop my out-of-the-box participation and while listening to classes about habitual and behavioural "laws" and ways, i noticed that this is the next root in this system/personality that i have been creating and participating within and as.


Day 132: Get to write

so previously i havewriting the realisation of why i stopped writing so here's the realisation of why do i have to do this to walk this process.


Day 131: Important EYE's

In this body currently we put really much emphasis on our eyes, because we think ourselves as mostly visual based.
yet here i'm talking about both the term EYE as a word used to agree or tell that the passed information has been understood. it was mostly used and started from the old sailors, where the sailsmen had to react to orders to let the captain know if they heard it through a storm or else. like a feedback mechanism that made the ships organising easyer and more interactive.


Day 130: Sharing HERE - breathing

I've been all over myself, doing things that sucks me in, grabs me off my lists and plans, takes away from "the world" around me, yet here i am, and i have something to share that all must see, realise and understand.