2012-11-07

Day 132: Get to write

so previously i havewriting the realisation of why i stopped writing so here's the realisation of why do i have to do this to walk this process.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think that i can walk my process and transcend points by only thinking about them and solving my issues in my head.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think about my process instead of walking and doing it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i am able to do this process "my way" instead of sticking to principles and methods that have been proven to be supportive to me and any other being.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create resistance to writing by fearing what i might write about.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear discovering new points within and as my writing, while on the other hand i get enthusiastic when i find a new point while breathing here.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to walk the writing process of my journey in fear of what i might find and write down.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create and maintain a polarity construct between mental walking and physical writing-walking.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire tokeep my process for myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think about what others will react to my writing,speaking my process in their vicinity.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for openly walking my process.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seperate others into a group that i title "the ones we know each-other" and thus accept and allow myself to behave according to preset rules while in the vicinity of such beings that are part of this group in my mind.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to distinguish between the beings i have met in the physical world and the ones i have not.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not consider myself and the consequences of stopping writing.

i will continue...

so this had been the top of a slide down, because if i keep going into this then after some time i don't even see/realise what i'm doing and that would be the same old me plus bragging about what i have stopped as an addiction, which is again selfish and only seeking attention/fame/acceptance...more on this later.

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