2012-11-23

Day 143: Mentoholic

here i continue with forgiving myself regarding the point of hating acohol and drinks based on fear and memories.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist writing and applying self-forgiveness on the point of alcohol and methol and the connections and systems i have created within and as them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to postpone my process of writing based on self-dishonesty and self judgement.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself that i cannot and do not want to let go of the hatered of alcohol because of addiction to energy.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to coonect acohol and drinks to the emotion of hate.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define acohol and drinks wihtin and as the emotion of hate.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and and allowed myself to seperate myself from acohol and drinks and from the emotion of hate, by defining acohol and drinks wihtin and as the emotion of hate.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate acohol and drinks based on the jdugement of "bad taste"
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify my starting point of hatered with the information and knowledge i have about acohol and drinks and it's consequential outflow of consuming products that contain it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my hatered onto others who consume acoholic products, and comparing myself within a polarity construct.
I forgive myself for accepting nad allowing myself to judge consuming acoholic products bad/negative/wrong, and not consuming them as good/positive/right, therefore i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and participate within and as a polarity of positivity and negativity regarding the point of consuming alcoholic products.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my polarity onto other beings and judge them as negative/bad/wrong OR positive/good/right depending on wether they consume alcoholic products or not.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the taste of methol to the taste of alcohol.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the taste of acohol within and as the taste of menthol.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and alowed myself to seperate myself from the taste of alcohol and the taste of menthol through defining the taste of alcohol within and as the taste of menthol.

interesting that after a bit of shearch i find that in chemistry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menthol
menthol is essentially a type of alcohol-thus is a similar chemical structure-so it's really clear why they have such a similar taste in the mouth-they bond to the same receptors, that gives the same signals to the brain.

yet still the hate comes from the menthol itself so i go on:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the taste of menthol and menthol itself to the emotion of hate.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define menthol wihtin and as the emotion of hate.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from menthol and from the emotion of hate through deifning menthol wihtin and as the emotion of hate.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hate menthol based on a childhood memory imprinting of myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react within and as hate to the event where my parent's didn't believe me and force mentholic drug into me.
I forgive myslef that i have accepted and allowed myself to be forced to accept the actions of my parents based on the belief that they are superior to me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myslef to believe that i am inferior to my parents.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my parents based on my belief of them being superior both mentally and physically.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my parents are superior to me because they have been "living" on earth longer than i have.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to supress and hide the conflict wihtin myself towars my parents in order to not let them know about it based on fear of punishment and more programming/lecturing.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up for myself and what i stand for within and as my words but accept and allow my parents to abuse me based on the belief that they are superior to me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents as superior based on the belief that they keep me alive.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow the abuse of my parents based on fear of death without them.

when and as i go into hating a substance based on fears and beliefs such as alcohol or menthol, i stop and breathe.
I realise that all substances are only here to assist and support me wihtin and as my process of realising myself and what I have been and become.
I commit myself to show that connecting and defining emotions to substances only abuse oneself and IS hiding from and supressing the facts of this self-abuse.

when and as i go into creatin and participating wihtin and as a polarity construct of postivity/negativity-good/bad-/right/wrong, i stop and breathe.
I realise that polarities are only self-created illusions and never actually existed, and only used to abuse the physical by extracting energy from it to feed the systems of abuse.
I commit myself to show that I can exist without any polarity constructs and am able to direct myself based on reshearch and consideration of every point when coming to a decision.

when and as i go into judgeing someone based on their actions or behaviour, i stop and breathe.
I realise that every being is responsible for it's own actions and reactions and points and that i can only assist and support them yet the being itself has to forgive-let go-and direct itself in every point.
further i realise that when i come into contact with beings, their actions are here to assist and support me within realising myself and reflecting myself back at me to be able to take responsibility for the points i have accepted and allowed myself and thus to test myself of my standing within and as my directive principles.
I commit myself to stand as a stable point of support for any and all beings here, including myself, by showing and standing as one and equal to/as the solution.


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