Day 158: 13 Days of doom
As I'm living in a collage dormitory, we were informed that the dorm will be closed from 21st of dec. till 2nd of jan. quite a coincidence...thus were ordered to plug all electric things, close the pipes ect. and leave. what i was interested about is that in the system i saw that i have to pay a full mont's fee for december while i only lived 21days in the facility, so when i went up to the financial manager, she just stated, you have to pay it because "the wole school will be closed down not just the dorm, if it would be just the dorm you wouldn't have to pay all." so because it is common sense that there is no common sense in this statement i did not stop to argue over such ridiculus thing of ~20$ from the 50$ rent cost.
so here in the dorm it was really doomsday hanging in the air, only a couple students were here till the last day and they were too packing and leaving one at a time...
When i saw the title the "doom day" i sawit in a mirror first...and because our world is a reflection of ourselves i seen that what many humans today participated in, vaiting the saviour/doom is just what it is backwards: MOOD yes this day is nothing more than a GIANT MOOD swing of the stupid human race, prooving that we have crazy ass beliefs pulled out of our asses and we hold onto them till the last grasp...then just collapse...some god a HIGH mood swing today and tried to asscend higher or let JESUS or else come and raise and save them...others gone into a LOW mood swing where here would be catastrophes and disasters or they waited for them...i would really like to make a survey on how many had high and how many had low mood today and see if the count matches.
Yet here i start my 13 days of doom. it is because i have to stay here for 13 days, with family and "celebrate" this part of time of the year...why is it doom? because before i REALLY started to realise myself here in walking this process i made a point of going against all holidays and religions and such, thus "having" to participate within such events should be a doom for me. yet again this is just a self created idea that i wanted to impose onto my world in order to feed my ego and energy addiction. no christmas is not doom, and certainly not a happy event too. it's just the same days with my same body with the same air i am breathing in and out...nothing special, nothing new, nothing unknown. so here i start my trial of 21 days of no judgement about holidays and people who participate in them or talk about it with me.
i commit myself to be aware of myself and stop any and all judgement of others or myself regarding the holyday seasons or any related point.
Here i "have" time to do what i am directing myself to do and be able to work on the point of expressing myself from the starting int of sharing and showing what is best for all as a self-directed, self-honest example.