2013-01-01

Day 163: ProSpection 2012

It's again the part of the calendar where humans increase the number of counts in the calendar. and as a global (half of the population at least) cultural behaviour, one looks back at the past and forward into the future, taking assumptions summarising, making lists, judgeing the past "year" making promises for the next year to accomplish and of course having pleasurable events all around the globe where they waste many many resources to entertain themselves.

yes i am a human too lol, still as i have investigated and found out not participating in such customs and cultural events are actually supportive.
I'm not writing here a retro-spection of what happened in the last year, what was my mistakes ect. nor about what i want to achieve for the next turn of the calendar...

Here is a moment, here's another and the previous is GONE and only exist in my memory if i remember it, but also that previous memory and all the effects and consequences are also within and as me ergo. i am it. thus even without a memory/mind, i am all the moments of the existance "previously" existing moments...the sum of all.
Thus counting the moments and specifying seconds, minutes,days,weeks,months,years are only a practical tool nothing else.

I have been so much holding onto the past, making notes about myself, what i didn't see is that without this i didn't want to take responsibility for how i spend my time dayly...so i wrote down how long i did what even made spreadsheets about it, and made it statistical...bullshit. i just used the "lack of knowledge" to justify me not standing up. it's not about precision, but commitment and directing myself here in EVERY moment till the last one and beyond.
Another tool i made for myself is a when and what i eaten so body intake-ottake stats. this is actually suportive to see the changes i've made in my diet and how my body responds to it...but also the time here is really not that much important.

about 2013...well...i'm not making promises, this process is about walking breath by breath, day by day, and  physically walking/expressing my forgivenesses and commitments. no speculation, no waiting, just breathing here and doing what i have to. for example stopping myself from using justifications to not standup in points...
So i don't whish you anything, i altough sugges investigating the DesteniIprocess lite (free) and pro version to which the links are all around the site here...

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