Day 168: learning or entertainment?
First it seemed addiction to entertainment, based on that i watched tons of videos about a car-racing game, after walking that here, i found that i actually watched 53 episodes (15-25min each) of it just to learn about driving and cars ect. Yet i knew exactly that these are only "decoys" too, i mean yes i built up my personalities layered because i added my addictions and whatnot layer by layer, breath by breath lost.
Working here on such points and allowing myself to not be fed up and ovefilled with forgiving them and directing myself, i was able to go a level deeper.
This whole process is like a black hole and the spaceship "in the moovies" where on the edge of the black hole it is really hard to either go away or fall into, but as the ship gets closer to the event horizon it goes faster and more directed, and can reveal more of the secrets of the black hole, eventually reaching the center.
And what i found is interesting, because the decoys "sound" valid, where all of these points are connected by me and really building ontop of each other.
What i see is that this whole watching videos is just a reforming of my "old" addiction which was watching and investigating people/reality. i just loved to watch everything around and pay great attention to detail and the event-chains and all the reactions and reactions...of course while stepping back from the whole picture. but even that wasn't the end of thing. i mean where did this huge urge come from to pay high attention to my enviroment and happening and to want to understand them intricately.
it is the want/desire to experience. i want to EXPERIENCE a lot of things, based on the belief that such will provide me with KNOWLEDGE and information that i can (ab)USE so i can live as i WANT.as the mind of course.
so is experiencing learning or entertainment? it is both. it adds to the knowledge base and entertains the mind because gathering/storing experience as MEMORIES/thoughts/feelings/emotions generate TONS of energy for the mind to live off of.
So at the end again it is all about survival...of the mind.
also I as the mind wants what it can't have (more energy from the illusion that it can) thus me watching a car go 320Km/h(~180mi/h) and dodge trafic and RACE, or seeing a rally from the driver's perspective gives a big boost of energy.
and this is the only reason why video-games sell. "you can experience what you can never afford" as said by a developer once. All videogames do is suck the gamer/wiever into the spiralling thoughts/feelings/emotions of the mind and create BUNCH of memories based on them and thus SHOW how much one is dependent of experiences.
for example take a blind, deaf man, can he experience games or moovies? nope YET HE CAN STILL BE HERE and be effective in what he is doing.
Experience is not a bad thing at all, i mean that all that hapenned is actually here within and AS the being itself. That is BEING all that is HERE. and that is not based on memories/thoughts/feelings/emotions. thus learning is best for all from this starting point of becoming an effective being to be able to DO what is best for all, while entertainment and gathering experiences is only mindfucking onself to ethernal damnation.