Day 194: Cycles of Doom - part 4 - where to start, what to do, when to stop?

while working with myself, going through my points and my misses, and the experience i went into while skipping my things and responsibilities i realized a pattern i use which then leads to me not doing a darn thing.


Day 193: Cycles of Doom - part 3 - missing...

another point i realized is that while walking my days i sometimes black-out, meaning that i somehow loose myself in time&space and after a couple of minutes find out that i've been gone for some moments.


Day 192:Cycles of Doom - part 2 - investigation

so let me look into this point of what do i do to not start.
seems obvious, i do something ELSE.


Day 191:Cycles Of Doom - part 1 - ready steady GO!

Starting someting...i've written about this earlier, yet still not done with the point yet.
the most crazy thing is that i block myself from realising what made me not-start something...or at least i tried :D


Day 190: Catching up

Here i realized a point which i could not understand so far nor could i describe it for what or where it's coming from. while it's easy, i just tried to shearch a reason or definition of it within and as my mind and could not find any.


Day 189: Must act rationally...every moment

in the last two weeks, i've been in a sort of fight with myself, which boiled down due to money.
it is clear that today in order for me to be able to sustain my body in terms of energy physically i need to eat at least X calories/day. it can be calculated but it does not matter exactly. what it matters that it is a MUST.


Day 188: transitioning a start

Because life is cyclic, It's common sense that i have again reached a point of "turnover" wherei kind of start my learning and continuing the walking and developement of myself here.

this is because i have went into a sort of "break" time, where altough i have not changed my walking physically, i allowed myself to stop the dayly task i've been doing...

yet this breaking is just a sign of me not allowing myself to be continuos and stable indefinately.
how long and how many loops have i get to go thorugh untill i get to everlasting standing? i'm not guessing it, because it doesn't matter.

all that matters is that i finally got myself together here to start my daily writings again, and arrange my schedules to be effective and active, and make sure that i DO complete my responsibilities.

when i fell into this loop of staticness, i allowed myself to believe that i'm overwhelmed, so more will be written about this later, also seen the point of not feeling myself to be ready to restart untill certain conditions met...again BIG LIE to myself which also needs investigation. and some relevant ppints with motivation too. so here i have plenty of points to write out...let's start!