2013-03-22

Day 191:Cycles Of Doom - part 1 - ready steady GO!

Starting someting...i've written about this earlier, yet still not done with the point yet.
the most crazy thing is that i block myself from realising what made me not-start something...or at least i tried :D


for myself to understand i write down the streamline of events thus as i walk through them once more, with awareness, i find what and where i "left" myself to not-start myself because this point comes seemingly to include most of the month so far, it's not a short story. thus to correct my "drowning in time", i'm writing out this point in multiple parts, maybe smaller yet every one counts as a day i've "missed" before.

looking back at the whole as one, my "life" is rithmic, meaning school have the same classes on the same day/hour, i have "free" time on the same spots, thus my day pretty much cycles in weeks.

throught the days the schedule is wonky because every day has about 45-90 minute continuos class then a 30-60minute break till the next one thus i have to concentrate AND "relax" in cycles which are NOT balanced in time. and this imbalance kicked my old habits that i only slightly touched, to balance such thing out i issued myself rest MORE. of course i fell over to the other side of the horse, and rested more, had more entertainment than i really required to balance it.

it's not the systems fault...yes i know the education system is crap as it is and has tons of effects that are harmful and suppressive and pshycodelic, yet it is me who accepts and allows such system to effect, to direct me, and thus i am creating the points that cause the lag within me.

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