Day 195: Cycles of Doom - part 5 - where all plan fails
here in this post, it's clear i saw a snippet of this point, so let me continue and do my forgiveness on it too this time!
what i realized is that actually it's me who is stepping in my way of getting my work done, by distractions and by not being directive.
so when i go into planning mode, i also fire up a seemingly irrelevant system...hope.
when i plan ahead, i HOPE that everything will go according to that plan, i HOPE that i will do those tasks, and with this hoping i'm eventually suppressing my self direction by BELIEVing that it will be okay and it WILL GET DONE. then of course when getting to the time when i would have to actually do the thing i planned, i'm way doing other things or being pre-occupied by/in my mind.
and while seeing that this is A problem that i HAVE to solve, yet i still went on doing nothing.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to plan my responsibilities ahead of time and do this within and as the mind and create an imaginary point within the future where "it will be done"
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by planning out something, it will 100% sure that it gets done, and it DOES NOT MATTER WHAT I DO.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exclude myself from the equasions of my responsibilities by believing it will get done anyway.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project myself into the future and try to assert what i planned into space and time without me actually physically doing anything.
i am continuing in the next post to come...