it is interesting that i am not classifying myself as talkative or outgoing in the sense of communication, still while looking at my past living moments, when i get into a situation of communication, especially verbally, i really am talkative and over-expressive, although this has triggering points in front of it.
by that i mean i go into thinking and connecting things and it is quite a habit to speak to me, haven't considered it this way but it's not JUST a habit, its more like an addiction. a controlled one. i can control that i don't communicate all the time but when i have to opportunity-coming from my opportunitist "personality" and then i just blow it out/explode all my communication.
i mean it's not the amount that is the problem here, because it is assistive and supportive to be able to communicate 100% of what i'd like to share, the problem is with the starting point of it, and that it is NOT a self-expression but rather just reactions and systems and addictions playing out.
altough because the starting point is the base of any point in me, i have to deconstruct the whole thing, then apply the change AS myself to/as the starting point, and then rebuild the whole communication point again.
i have the tools, i have the "time", i have myself...so i just start it.