Day 209: Modifying factors...

In terms of physical living, i am bound to comply with the rules and laws of the physical. although humanity and me have been very much defining things to being falling into such category while it is not at all part of such rules/laws but i am simply cannot understand the equation of those particular things, thus making it a mystery and stating that it has power over me.

for example, to take last weekend, i was bound by the physical that i was NOT where this computer is to be able to write a blog post as i am organized myself to do so. of course i was also bound by the physical that i have the capability of writing with my hand onto paper and later write it here...yet based on my actions i did not do so.

practically i have not done a single thing i could, based on the space i was in. i mean i just justified doing nothing with "i'm not where my things are and my organized routine, thus i cant do a thing because........" and the list started rollin'

i made a habit for myself, which sometimes can be quite effective yet other times like the case above can be really destructive.
"I am doing a project from start to finish in one go, with predetermined phases in direct ordering"
which is of course "plan-execute-grade->correct>grade>...>done"

the real problem comes from the essence that is moving this machine, motivation itself...or reason-to-move-myself to phrase it more clearly.

i am not yet aware if the physical has the rule of "moving in the way of least resistance" or it's just a made up system, either way i am accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to it and base almost all my actions on it.
which is interesting seeing the fact that walking the journey to life is the way of the most resistance pretty much all the time!

so every now and then i introduce modifying factors/variables into my equations of existing here, thus making my view of things skewed and distorted or just completely missing the point.

i made myself plenty of things to do...maybe that's a habit too...and the priority list is always changing which makes the above written way of solving them impossible to maintain...still i dont understand even the physical mind's workings of how can i accumulate information and knowledge to be as me...thus cannot yet find the most effective way to both at the same time accumulate it and present it and apply other places all the same time...here too i'm starting to haste and try to write less words to describe more, which is impossible to achieve...so breathing is my remedy here. and consistency.