Day 223: Conflicting Personality Complex

or for short i name it C.P.C.
i just made up a new illness, more precisely a mind sickness to describe and define my current state of being. interesting that i was taught that doctors have identified and defined a lot of illness and given it various names and abbrevations-because those made-up names become too long in Latin language, and i have to use then to be understood. no, i don't have to. furthermore i also can create a new phrase to define something, even if it has been defined by others with different words. it's not about the name of the state but the actual status and accumulated consequence of it. so i name however i want it to.


Day 222: Overdue - Overdone

I've seen this point across my lifetime here that i developed a habit of overdoing my things.
First it seemed like the only way to finish something. Then i told myself it's good that i effectively achieving something, later again i bloated my ego with it, calling myself precise and tedious.


Day 221: Saying my word

As i lived my life i have been, many times, just stepping back into the background-kinda fading away from a scene i did not like, or didn't want to exist in, yet in that moment i did not go away physically.


Day 220: The importance of review

Today i got myself more than 2 times into a situation where i had to make a decision that determined my "future" to say, for a couple hours after the decision at least.

Day 219: Sober Sundays

looking back at my days of failing and succeeding, it seems that i tend to come out of my self-pity on sundays, which is interesting and also not.