Day 225: sadness, you say? THIS IS MINDLAND!

another dimension of the previously mentioned depression character is the sadness of it.
so here i examine myself about sadness-short yet i write it down to have a reference and be able to buld up my Self-forgiveness and corrections from this.

what is sadness?
...a feeling.
 any association connected to the word "sadness"?
...down, lonely, hanging nose, comparison to better past, sense of loss, overwhelmed-ness, shrinking, withdrawing, dark, smell of fine dust, smell of rust, dark toned grey, absence of bright light, shivering/feeling cold.

what fears come up regarding sadness?
fear of loss, fear of being hurt, fear of noise, fear of crowd, fear of suffocation, fear of lack of love, fear of someone seeing me sad/cry, fear of sharing my problems, fear of looking at nice "pictures" of life, fear of death, fear of being ridiculed, fear of dissipating/disappearing.

what triggers the sadness "state"?
feeling of misery, self-pity, self-judgement, the memory of losing something, experiencing another's death, examining only the negative/bad aspects of something, feeling of helplessness, feeling of hurt mentally, not experiencing the expected results.

for the memories when i get there i will walk the memories separate and disconnect them from the sadness point one by one-so it will not be discussed here or the next post.