2014-06-14

Day 231: Habit of stopping Pt.1

I used to stop myself from doing supportive things towards me or even others, because of many justifications and made up reasons, yet not even a single one of those were actually true, yet i have stopped my actions based on them.

it essentially became a habit of self-sabotage, and the only way out of it is forgiving myself, correcting myself and moving on, and only stopping the self-sabotage of myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself in order to be able to "enjoy life" for a little bit longer.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify my self sabotages with made up reasons and points, that i only created in order to break myself from standing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define "enjoying life" by doing nothing and by only participating within actions that are generating thoughts, feelings, emotions, thus powering my mind with energy.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define LIFE as the energy that myself as the mind live off of.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only push myself towards the goal of producing AND consuming more and more of this energy, in any way or shape possible.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see understand and realize my process of self sabotage, that i am busy participating within and as
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to JUDGE self sabotage as a BAD-wrong thing to do, thus create more emotional energy within it, and keep myself in the endless loop of self sabotage.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to run for stopping my self sabotage with the idea that supporting myself is GOOD-right, thus create more emotional energy within it and still keep myself in the energetic nature of the mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to stop my current activity based on judgements and fears of the future
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see understand and realize my actions and their consequences regarding my process.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my current activity and decide about continuing it or not based upon that judgement.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR the future consequences of my actions, thus keep myself in the future to not see and realize that with that i am creating the consequence i fear of.


commitments come a bit later...

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