here are the commitments to the points i've forgiven to myself:
when and as i go into self-sabotage to be able to enjoy life, i stop and breathe, i realize that enjoyment has nothing to do with the things I DO, but i can be actually joy itself, thus i can with supporting and assisting myself enjoy myself here, without the need to divert and seperate myself from enjoyment.
When and as i go into defining myself as enjoying life, i stop and breathe. i realize that this is only me seperating myself from myself which is abuse in itself and leads to more and more separations and abuse of myself
when and as i go into defining myself and LIFE as the energy the mind as a system lives off of, i stop and breathe. I realize that i am one and equal with the mind and life and energy, and defining myself as only part of myself is separation and abuse.
when and as i go into judgeing myself doing BAD/wrong things as self sabotage, OR doing GOOD/right thing as self-support, I STOP AND BREATHE. I realize that judging myself about what i do is a feedback mechanism that i only emlpoy in order to keep myself busy and participating in the system of abuse i create.
when and as i go into judging myself about what i do, i stop and breathe. I realize that my actions do come with consequences of their own regardless of what i think judge about them, yet participating within the judgement itself creates consequence which will end up as self abuse.
when and as i go into fearing future consequences, i stop and breathe. I realize that creating and participating in fear of the future is only diverting my awareness of actually dealing and solving my problems and to stop me from being here aware in order to create and become the solution to that consequence i have created.