2014-11-05

Day 238: Irrelevance of Significance of Decicive Time

ever since i began investigating myself and the world and beings around me, the concept of time and importance got smudged by the reality of diversity and complexity everywhere i looked.

I mean obviously i understood time as we humans measure it, as something that is a rigid solid one-way scale that organize and determine our lives...or so i thought. As every other kid growing up in such a society, i also cloned - adapted this concept from others, to bind my life, and bodily cycles to the daylight, then to the clock, the man-made machine measuring the passage of time...




What is really interesting however is that no system or machine is EVER capable of MEASURING time or space completely. Everything we have created have only capable of doing ONE thing. expressing what is HERE.
When i first saw what is inside a manual watch, all the gears and springs and weights, i was amazed that it can go for that long without any additional energy input (just spin it up once a day, then later only once a week), by the time (lol) i got into being 10-15 i already had a radio with a digital clock on, had a digital watch with a calculator included, had my own personal computer (pentium4) so this was no wonder to me anymore...they were only a tool to TUNE myself to how everyone ELSE is behaving.

All while reality is showing itself in every piece and atom all around me.
all these "measuring" devices and machines can only show what is here NOW. and they do it EVERY MOMENT of their existence, "all the time". the clock is "deciding" to input the energy from the battery, and output the visual representations we programmed it to show in every beat of it's frequency (500-15000MHz) which means that it's expressing the HERE MOMENT in every moment, and for it, a moment is one beat of it's frequency.(fraction of a second)
until the last moment of it's expression, when due to various CAUSES, it "decides" to not output it anymore.(insufficient power, lack of material strengths, error in the programming and others)

therefore what humanity fails to see in every "human" moment, that everything around us do exactly the same, expressing itself in every moment. a clock can only show the current time, it's only us who imagine the past and future.

Thus learning from this realization of equality and oneness, i finally got a grasp on how come i failed so hard in multiple points before:
I had a concept of decision to be a SINGLE POINT IN TIME. while it's only me(as a mind) who can make something like that up.
EVERY decision should be either decided in every moment, or not decided at all. what i mean is that when i dedicate myself to do something for only ONE moment, then i will be dedicated ONLY in that one moment, and in the next without my own decision and dedication in this second moment i will not be dedicated or decided, thus i am allowing myself to do/be otherwise than the previous moment.

this of course is the flexibility of "time" where every being can decide about everything in every moment of it's existance. making it available to change oneself, and to be stable at the "same time"

more importantly, the ACCUMULATION of the same decision strengthens the cumulative effect of that decision made moment-by-moment by the same being. thus when a decision is only made in one moment, while ignore in the rest has NO effect whatsoever. (hence the high rate of failing a new-years-eve-vow)
And me as the mind, I WANT to "forget about" deciding things, i want the concept of i only have to deal with this ONCE then i can do something "better", because it is self abuse and is the concept accepted and ingrained into us from birth. decide once and act later based ON IT. thus endorsing living in THAT past moment of decision when acting here, thus always accessing the memory of the decision instead of actually giving my power back to myself as WALKING the decision by deciding it every moment of my remaining life.

and of course first this sounds seems and feels overwhelming...scientist say we have about 1000-20000 decisions in a single day...so decide every one of them in every moment??? that's MILLIONS of decisions for ONE MOMENT, "that's too much!" says the mind and blacks out under the PERCEIVED pressure of "work".

of course it's not what is here. although the living with every decision we ever made is already a reality, it's engraved into our own human physical body into every singe cell we have...sooo is it too much really? not at all.

Therefore:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself about the reality of time and space in and as myself as reality, and to develop concepts that are the opposite of reality, in order to escape from the misunderstood reality of existence.
When and as i go into escaping from realizing reality, and living here within and as the moment, i stop, breathe, bring myself back to the moment, and strengthen my decision of working on my points by deciding again and keeping myself to my commitments in every moment of every decision.
I commit myself to keep myself to my decisions that are based on the principle of oneness and equality and doing what is best for all, in every moment with every decision, and to remind myself of deciding this in every following moment.

therefore regular posting in this blog is continuing...

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