2014-02-15

Day 228: Looking Directly

I have been here in my body for 9055 days, 8326 which i spent learning then applying abuse to myself and the world around me, and 730 days from the point i first started my process and just 666 days since i wrote my first blog post regarding my process.
from the fact that this is only my 228th entry (not regarding my previous TRY's at it) shows it clear that i had periods where i missed the days of writing a day, based on either justifications or other mindshit i put myself up to.

2014-02-10

Day 227: Just Rollin'

This couple of days shown me an interesting thing.

I was avare that changes will be made in my enviroment, thus is prepared myself to not react to any changes and accomodate to them as necessary without "giving up" on myself of doing whats best for all.

2014-02-06

Day 226: Raising my head up

So in the previous post i wrote down what i could find about sadness and how i created this point within me, here comes the self-forgiveness for them:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the feeling of sadness to exist within and as me, thus creating it also outside of me onto others.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to validate the existance of the feeling of sadness with thoughts, fears, emotions and associations.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect and interconnect the feeling of sadness with words, thoughts, fears, and emotions, and hold onto these connections as relationships that i use to define "MY reality" and to define who and what i am.
 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the word "sad" and "sadness" as a trigger point to activate and feed other mind constructs and points.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate and connect the feeling of sadness with the character of depression, and use it to validate my actions and stay within that character.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use and utilize fears of loss, being hurt, noise, crowds, suffocation, lack of love, sharing my problems, death, being ridiculed, dissipating/disappearing to trigger and feed the feeling/emotion of sadness, and validate the existance of these fears.

to be continued 

2014-02-03

Day 225: sadness, you say? THIS IS MINDLAND!

another dimension of the previously mentioned depression character is the sadness of it.
so here i examine myself about sadness-short yet i write it down to have a reference and be able to buld up my Self-forgiveness and corrections from this.

what is sadness?
...a feeling.

2014-02-01

Day 224: (de)Pressing personality Pt.1

Ever felt that whatever you do is only hurting others? ever been just wandering around not knowing what to do? ever spent hours in a place only drowning in your own self-pity? ever felt you are not worth to live?

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