2014-06-20

Day 233: Habit of stopping Pt.2

here are the commitments to the points i've forgiven to myself:

when and as i go into self-sabotage to be able to enjoy life, i stop and breathe, i realize that enjoyment has nothing to do with the things I DO, but i can be actually joy itself, thus i can with supporting and assisting myself enjoy myself here, without the need to divert and seperate myself from enjoyment.

When and as i go into defining myself as enjoying life, i stop and breathe. i realize that this is only me seperating myself from myself which is abuse in itself and leads to more and more separations and abuse of myself

when and as i go into defining myself and LIFE as the energy the mind as a system lives off of, i stop and breathe. I realize that i am one and equal with the mind and life and energy, and defining myself as only part of myself is separation and abuse.

when and as i go into judgeing myself doing BAD/wrong things as self sabotage, OR doing GOOD/right thing as self-support, I STOP AND BREATHE. I realize that judging myself about what i do is a feedback mechanism that i only emlpoy in order to keep myself busy and participating in the system of abuse i create.

when and as i go into judging myself about what i do, i stop and breathe. I realize that my actions do come with consequences of their own regardless of what i think judge about them, yet participating within the judgement itself creates consequence which will end up as self abuse.

when and as i go into fearing future consequences, i stop and breathe. I realize that creating and participating in fear of the future is only diverting my awareness of actually dealing and solving my problems and to stop me from being here aware in order to create and become the solution to that consequence i have created.

Day 232: untrustable part 2

 to finish up this point i written self commitment statements...
original post: HERE

when and as i go into judging certain specific future moments, i stop and breathe.I realize that future moments does not exist HERE, therefore any action regarding them are only sabotaging myself to lure my awareness from HERE.

When and as i go into worrying about my future, i stop and breathe. I realize that worrying is only a consequence and continuos action of participation within and as fear, to make myself believe that the fears are real, which they are not.

When and as i go into wanting and desiring to prepare myself to the future, i stop and breathe. I realize that any attempt of preparations based on a non-existent theory of reality is only creating consequences which creates more abuse to myself and others.

When and as i go into wanting to achieve a perfect outcome of events, i stop and breathe. I realize that perfect is only a certain specific conditions that I set up the has nothing to do with what is supportive for me or others.

when and as i go into justifying my thoughts and fears myself based on my fears @ thoughts i stop and breathe. I realize that fears @ thoughts are not real, thus following them and using them as justification to create even more of them is just plain abuse to myself and creating moments when i am not here aware.

2014-06-14

Day 231: Habit of stopping Pt.1

I used to stop myself from doing supportive things towards me or even others, because of many justifications and made up reasons, yet not even a single one of those were actually true, yet i have stopped my actions based on them.

it essentially became a habit of self-sabotage, and the only way out of it is forgiving myself, correcting myself and moving on, and only stopping the self-sabotage of myself.

2014-06-03

Day 230: untrustable?

at some stressful situations, like exams i tend to pick memories where i was not getting ready for what is about to come, and sue those memories to self-sabotage, and swallow myself in fear and doubt and judgements...so here is the solution...

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