2014-08-31

Day 235: Controlling the uncontrollable

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want and desire to control ever outcome that will effect my future life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i can control every part and aspect of my enviroment therefore i am in control

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to freak myself into being a control freak, while openly denying it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give all my directive power to the point of wanting to be in control, based on the fear of the future

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear of the future and it's possible consequences.

When and as i go into fearing the future and what it MAY come for me to face, i stop and breathe.
I realise that by looking constantly ahead to the future i am keeping myself busy with something that is non existent and thus sabotageing myself HERE, and effecting the very decisions i am afraid of giving me consequences.

When and as i go into giving off my directive power to the point of desire to be in control, i stop and breathe. I realise that being in control is only an illusion of the mind because it is based on seperation of myself from myself and controlling that seperated part of myself outside of myself, which is obviously impossible. I commit myself to bring back to myself the parts i seperated myself from, by allowing and accepting the want&desire of control to take over me.

2014-08-11

Day 234: Ending the cycle of reaction

i have been struggling with the point to understand self-motivation, thus this manifested in the form of not doing anything at all that would walk me towards my journey to life. (the lack of posts show this also), and i have also allowed this to become a pattern within my yearly life, and thus being polaric in nature.

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